I can’t believe it took me until my son was three years old to discover this glorious thing called make-up sex.
It actually never occurred to me that I was missing out on anything great.
It’s kind of like if you’ve never tasted a really decadent chocolate ice cream…
You’re missing out on something positively sinful in it’s glory…
… but you don’t really think much about it if you have no basis for comparison.
Well, I’ve finally tasted the sinfully delicious fruits of make-up sex and I’ve been sitting up all night wondering:
How Did I Live This Long Without It?
I’d like to share a few insights I’ve had into my own journey with love, sexuality, and the subject at-hand, which is make-up sex.
Whether or not you’re well versed in the art of make-up sex, this article is meant to strengthen every mom, woman, and goddess reading it.
Here are five reasons I’d never enjoyed this sacred nuance of relationships, and how I overcame them as a single mom.
1. I Wasn’t A Queen
In previous relationships I walked on eggshells, acted like a codependent Golden Retriever, and didn’t state my needs.
Since my journey through Moms Wear Capes Academy, I’m no longer afraid of my own shadow.
If there’s trouble in my relationship, I’m not afraid to growl and fight for my own needs.
I’m a lioness queen and god dammit, if you aren’t on board – you’re out.
In previous relationships, I was afraid of being alone or losing my partner.
Once I was able to stand on my God-given throne and make my needs necessities, my partner treated me more like the queen I am versus in previous relationships where I was merely a mother, maid, or worse.
I’m no longer afraid of being single, if it means my needs and integrity are intact.
Thankfully, I’m in a relationship with a supportive partner who appreciates me and doesn’t take my love for granted.
But most importantly, I have a lover who allows me to state my needs and meets me with love.
Hence, the make-up sex.
2. I Lacked Confidence
Even today I struggle when there’s trouble in paradise.
I badger myself with should’s, could’s and would’s such as:
- This shouldn’t be bugging me so much
- I could have stated this need earlier, before I was so angry
- If only he would see how this affects me!
When I developed as a Superwoman, I gained the confidence to realize that my needs are MUST’s.
They’re worthy of attention, no matter how small they seem on the outside.
A confident woman doesn’t try to talk herself out of her emotions.
Rather, she embraces those feelings and calls in her lover to breathe into her emotions alongside her.
Exploring my small, tender side with my partner, even though it started with a big, fierce, angry growl, fostered incredible conversation and intimacy between us.
And coming out on the other side of my issues after working through them together was nothing less than HOT.
3. I Was Afraid My Needs Weren’t Important
Let’s get one thing straight if we haven’t already emphasized this enough: your needs are necessities.
I’m a recovering codependent person who put everybody else’s needs above my own.
This fostered a feeling of resentment on my part because my own needs weren’t being met.
What’s more, codependent behavior creates an imbalance in relationships where one partner (often a man) feels power over the other (usually a codependent female) and tramples on her.
The secret I learned is that men love to be strong and stand in the fire with their partners.
My partner actually told me, “I love your fiery side”!
The rest… well… make-up sex.
4. I Didn’t Have A Supportive Partner
In previous relationships, I didn’t enjoy the bliss of makeup sex because I wasn’t having deep discussions with my partner.
You see, part of the magic of making up is having worked through some shit together.
In my single mom life, I’ve been intentional about calling in the lover of my dreams with the help of dozens of brilliant, self-expressed experts and life coaches in the Moms Wear Capes Superwoman School.
In this partnership, I’ve been clear about what I want, and what isn’t important.
My partner doesn’t see my needs as insignificant. Rather, he makes every effort to listen to me and take my needs seriously.
If you’re struggling to get your partner to take your needs seriously, fortify your will and voice with Superwoman School.
5. I Didn’t Have Great Sex To Begin With…
I’m not playing a victim here… I take full responsibility for how dreadful my sex life was before I met my current partner.
I didn’t state my emotional needs or have great communication, which made for an awful sex life.
The key to women’s arousal starts with communication.
When you have her heart, you have her body.
Foreplay starts the moment my partner and I wake up in the morning.
He kisses me with presence, looks into my eyes, makes my coffee or tea, we play or workout together, we help each other with the children, and we go to bed with no screens in the room: just total presence for conversation… and such…
In my previous relationships, there was no makeup sex because there wasn’t any sex worth having to begin with.
The key to great sex for women isn’t physical; it’s emotional.
Finding a partner who nourishes your heart is the best way to find a partner who nurtures your body.
I learned so much about being a great partner through Superwoman School.
In fact, we have many lessons on polarity and how to empower your lover as opposed to emasculating him for not doing or being enough.
So many mothers are depleted of energy from the demands of motherhood; causing us to nit-pick our partners.
This disempowers your partner and sets up a dynamic for the kiss of death in relationships: sex for duty.
Your partner wants to ravish your heart, mind and body.
It doesn’t just start with great communication, but it requires constant nurturing of each other’s hearts.
But if you’ve ever had this amazing decadent chocolate ice cream-like thing they call makeup sex, you know it’s worth it.
If your love or sex life has grown stale, check out how you can reinvigorate your relationships in Moms Wear Capes Academy today…